Dear Darling Boy,

You are now 21 months old and you have changed so much since I last wrote.  My mind is somewhat preoccupied by our new arrival but my immediate thoughts and body are still here with you day in day out.  I find balancing thinking of you and preparing for the new baby a constant trial.  When I think of your sister I feel guilty to push you out and when I think of you I worry that I am not preparing and loving her enough.  This parenting business is hard.

Everyday I try to teach you new words, show you new things and give you new experiences.  Everything is a learning opportunity for you, whether we mean it to be or not and we have to keep an eye on ourselves to make sure we are setting a good example.  It is not possible to be perfect all the time and find ourselves watching what we eat, drink or say.  You will evidently think what we have is FAR more exciting than anything we offer you if we do not all eat the same thing.

You  are challenging and know your own mind but even when you are at your most difficult I still feel I understand you.  You are funny, cheeky, happy and busy but most of all independent and determined.  You have your moments where you flatly refuse to do as you are told, throw yourself on the floor, scream hit and have been known to headbut us. (There have been 2 headbutting phases, both have now passed.)  Sometimes I am that mother that people are looking at with raised eyebrows.  When you are so adament that you want you own way it is hard, you are so strong and so loud that I try my best to calm you and find some way of distracting you without giving in.  However, the majority of the time you are making people smile, politely saying hello and goodbye and I am frequently complemented on how you are always smiling.  You are so perfect to us, we are proud to be your parents because the unique character that you have is so special.

You love to learn new things, and you pick things up so very quickly.  You are a small person, certainly not a baby and you like things just so.  You revel in any opportunity to learn and prove that you do not need our help. I have learnt already that it is best to let you try to do things yourself and offer my help for acceptance.  You do not like things to be snatched away from you, you do not understand why you cannot try for yourself.  It makes sense really, but perhaps that’s not how other mothers are. Maybe I am being neglectful by not doing everything for you but I really feel you learn so much more by me sitting back and letting you do your thing.

Your vocabulary revolves around food and although you are somewhat picky and faddy (despite being baby led weaned), when you want to eat you scale your highchair and sit shouting out the names of things you can see.  You love toast and this is your word for food in general, you pronounce it toas and you rarely eat your crusts (where do you learn these things!?).  Peanut butter on toast is your favourite and you call peanut butter pup-pup-pup for some reason.  Sometimes you go in the cupboards and bring cans of beans in to me in the living room as if you are starving to death!  Your pronunciation of chocolate cake has changed but you still love to say it every so often on the off chance we might have some available.  You use the word please like a pro and seem to think that grinning sweetly whilst saying ‘peassse’ and giggling will get you anything you want.  It has mixed results depending on our susceptibility for cuteness at the time.  You have started to say thank you and even said “share” to another child at the soft play today as you stole a foam block away from him.  (Application of the word share clearly needs some work…)

You will happily entertain yourself with almost anything.  Today you have been playing with our picnic basket and you also like to get involved when I am mopping, hoovering, brushing.  Like the cheeky and timely boy you are you even decided to play ‘clean the table with a duster like a slave’ when the health visitor came round a few weeks ago.  I can’t help but wonder what alarm bells that started ringing.

The pictures I’ve included are from this weekend and are testament to just how much you love your trains.  This is hardly surprising because I also love trains but to see your face when the train pulled onto the platform you literally shook with excitement whilst waving your Thomas flag over enthusiastically. You can’t say train yet, you always call trains ‘choo choo’ but to hear you say “bye bye choo” whilst waving at the platform when we left yesterday melted my heart a little bit

One of our favourite times of day is putting you to bed where you truly show how remarkable you are.  In our new house you have taken to selecting books from the book shelf and sitting on a small rug either flicking through the pages yourself and chattering, or climbing into our lap and asking us to read to you.  Although your tactics for delaying actually getting in to bed are impressive, once we stay firm you willingly climb into bed yourself and snuggle under your duvet.  It makes me so happy to see you growing up but it is bitter sweet as I feel you moving further away from me.  My little baby who I cuddled so close to me for all that time is learning all the things that will eventually take you away from me and into the big wide world.

You answer questions with a firm yes.  I would say yes is your most used word, which makes a change from everything I hear about a toddlers favourite word being No.  Don’t get me wrong, you say no, but more often than not the answer is yes.  In general you are much happier to do anything if you have been asked.  Recently changing your nappy has been battle free and I can’t help but think this is because you feel you have agreed to do so rather than been forced.  I hasten to add, up until this point changing was a complete nightmare.  I’m talking full scale battle with screaming, fighting and tears.  We’ve had almost 3 weeks of calmer behaviour but I won’t get my hopes up too high just yet!

I’m sure there are a million other things that I could say about you and all the funny things you do that make you who you are, but for now goodnight.   xxx